NO 



PLAYS EXCHANGED. \A. 




^'Jhe Green Bird 

v^ Price, 25 Cents 




COPYRIGHT, 1889. BY WALTER H. BAKILR & CO. 



Jl. m* Pinero's Plays 

Price, 50 eents Each 



THF AMA7niSIQ Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, five fe- 
lll£t /\iTl/\^v/iikJ males. Costumes, modern; scenery, not 
diiBicult. Plays a full evening. 



THE CABINET MINISTER ^^^"^ '" ^°^' ^"'^ 



Ten 
males, nine females. Cos 
tumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 



riANHV niPlf Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, four fe- 
UAViUl LFivIV. males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two inte- 
riors. Plays two hours and a half. 

TUC P KV 1 i\'DT\ niTITY Comedy in Four Acts. Four males, 
ini:i UAI L.UI\U VfUCA ten females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

UIC liniTC17 fM nOnrD comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, 
ni^ nUUi3£i 111 liI\i/CJl\ four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

TUr UORRV UnPQr comedy in Three Acts. Ten males, 
lIlEi nWDOI nwlVOIIi aye females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. 

TDTC Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
*»^*»^ modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

1 AnV RflTTWTIFITI Play in Four Acts. Eight males, seven 
Lii^U I u\J%J LMirKJU females. Costumes, modern; scen- 
ery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 



I FTTY ^^^^^ i^ Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five 
LiEil I 1 females. Costumes, modern; scenery complicated. 
Plays a full evening. 

THF MAPIQTPATI? Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, 
lllLi iniWJlO I l\t\ I Li four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half. 



Sent prepaid; ffn receipt of price by 
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l^alter H. Pafecr ^ Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



The Green Bird 



A Farce Comedy in Three Acts 



By 
JOSEPH U. HARRIS 



Originally produced under the auspices of The Ladies AuX' 
iliary of the Railroad Young Meii s Christian Associ- 
ation, in the High School Auditorium, Syracuse, 
New York, April ii and 12, igi2. 



BOSTON 
WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
1912 



The Green Bird 



CHARACTERS 

Macklyn, owner and proprietor of the Macklyn 



Joseph LaRue. 
Clarence Ferguson, 
Harold Allen, 



House 

SocKSMAN, the stage-driver . 

Allan Ross, Miss Lautons fiance 

Mr. Anton McDonald, 1 . _^,,,r . 
r. n 171 search of 

from college, I ,. ^^ ^ J 

Mr. George Lane, f b\^1^> 

his companion, J 

Mr. Jack Haverstraw, Allan s friend, and 

his sister s ....... 

Monsieur Dupin 

Clement Ashverne, enamoured of ''The 

Green Bird.'' . . . . . . 

Mrs. Macklyn, Macklyn s wife, formerly a 

milliner Helena Brown* 

Enid Lauton, writing under the name of 

Wayne Mortimer Lynde .... Lulu Donaldson* 
Alice, the Macklyns maid of all work . . Ruth Rouse. 
Margaret, " The Green Bird " . . Esther Craig. 



Harry Gray. 
Harold Rice, 



Wayne Blake, 
Atnbrose Weldon, 

Leon Mitchell, 



SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Wherein they arrive. 

Act II. — Wherein they are delayed. 

Act III.— Wherein they depart. 

Scene.— Office of the Macklyn House. 

Time. — Afternoon and evening of a day in summer. 




Copyright, 1912, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



©CI.D 31359 



The Green Bird 



ACT I 

SCENE. — The office of the Macklyn House near the railroad 
station. At the back c. a door opening on the street. At 
R. a single door communicating with the dining-roo7ny another y 
L., leading to the parlor. A window on each side of the 
central door. Desk^ etc., R. Stove without any fire and 
with top full of flowers near l. Chairs, etc., about the 
room, A large clock over the desk and a ponderous register 
in a conspicuous position on it. It is late afternoon of a 
summer day, Macklyn at the desk ; his wife seated at the 
window on the opposite side of the roo?n sewing, Socksman, 
the stage-driver J sticks his head in at the door. 

Socks. Anybody for Fuller's Corners, Jinksville, or the 
Twin Forks? 

Mack. Not a soul, Lem, not a soul. Hain't been anybody 
here for a month, 'cept travelin' agents. 

Mrs. Macklyn. How is your business, Mr. Socksman? 
Many passengers ? 

Socks. No'm, there hain't. Just two women and one 
young un since the first of the week. 

Mrs. M. Oh, dear ! Such business ! We haven't had a 
real sociable guest in a month, and not a soul that was inter- 
esting. It's a real pity. Ain't there any people from the 
afternoon train either ? 

Socks. No'm, not as is going to Fuller's Corners, or 
Jinksville, or the Twin Forks. There's a young couple out 
there that I guess will be in pretty soon, but they ain't going 
nowhere, not just now leastways. Looks more as if they 
wanted a minister than anything else. Awful spoony. He, 
he! 

Mrs. M. Really ? Oh, Mr. Socksman, look and see if 
they are coming this way. If they are, I'll telephone to the 

3 



4 THE GREEN BIRD 

Rev. Mr. Higglehorii and we can have a marriage right here 
in the hotel parlor. Oh, it's ages since anything really interest- 
ing happened. Are they coming ? 

Mack. Wait a bit, Cindy, wait a bit. They may be 
married already. 

Mrs. M. Well, they needn't let on if they are. We can 
have 'em do it all over again just as well as not. I do hope 
she has got a white dress with her. She can have my old 
veil, and I'll send over to Mrs. Owens for some blossoms from 
her orange tree. 

Socks. They be coming right this way, Mrs. Macklyn. 

Mrs. M. Oh, I'll telephone right now. No, I'd better 
send. Like as n®t Mrs. Judson will be listenin' on the line, 
and I don't want her to know anything about it. She never 
told us when she eloped with our grocery man. That was 
when slie was in Rainsville. She was a Tompkins then, and — 
are they coming ? I'll send Alice. 

Mack. You'd better wait till they register. I wouldn't 
count my chickens till I was sure they wasn't coming out o' 
turkeys' eggs. 

Mrs. M. Well, perhaps I had better wait till then. You 
always put a damper on my spirits. But it won't take a 
minute to send Alice after Mr. Higglehorn. 

Socks. Here they be, Mrs. Macklyn. There ain't no use 
of me staying 'cause I axed them once if they wanted to go 
to Fuller's Corners, or Jinks ville, or the Twin Forks, and the 
feller said as how they didn't want to go nowhere just as ab- 
rupt like as could be. So I guess I'll go along. Success to 
your weddin'. 

Mrs. M. All right, Mr. Socksman, thank you. Maybe 
I can prevail on them to go to the Corners for a honeymoon 
trip. 

Socks. I say now, that would be real nice of you. I'll 
clean up the coach before I come back from the Twin Forks 
so's to have it fittin' for the bridal pair, and then I'll take 'em 
over to-morrow morning bright and early. Hovv'U that be? 

Mrs. M. That'll be first rate. Good luck to you, Mr. 
Socksman. 

SocKS. Thank'e. Good luck to you, Mrs. Macklyn. 
{He goes oiit^ then sticks his head in the door again to holler.) 
1 say, here they be. 

(^As he retires, Allan Ross arid Enid Lauton enter,) 



THE GREEN BIRD 5 

Mrs. M. {aside). Now ain't they the sweet pair ! She'll 
make just a beautiful bride. {Aloud.) My dear, you must be 
tired after traveling; sit right down here. {Places chair,) 
Mr. Macklyn will see to your luggage. 

Mack, {to Allan). Will you be pleased to register, sir? 

Allan. Yes, we want two rooms, and 

Mack. Two ? 

Allan. I said two. 

Mrs. M. Why, of course, they want two rooms — now. 

Enid. Now ? We want them all the while we're here. 

Allan. Certainly — which probably won't be more than 
twenty-four hours. (Signs,) 

Mack, {scrutinizing the register). H'm — 'm. Yes, sir. 
I'll take your luggage right up, and you can go when you 
get ready. Your rooms are the first turn to the right, and 
the stairs you can see just beyond the parlor door. We 
hain't got no bell-boy here. I have to be that too, 'ceptin' 
when we're busy ; then we get one o' the neighbors' children. 
{To his wife, as he goes out,) Brother and sister. He ! he ! 

Mrs. M. What ! 

Mack. I told you not to count your chickens. Looks like 
you must have had a nest ^gg, {He goes.) 

Mrs. M. Well, I never ! Who would have thought it ? 
Oh, this is disgusting. And there's the stage-driver expecting 
a wedded couple to take to the Corners to-morrow. Brother 
and sister ! Pshaw ! {She follows her husband.) 

Enid. What peculiar people ! 

Allan. What fools ! 

Enid. And such a funny place — no bell-boy, except one 
of the neighbors' children, when they're busy. 

Allan. Which doubtless isn't often. 

Enid. Evidently no guests. Oh, Allan, maybe the town 
hasn't got any minister. 

Allan. Oh, no. It can't be as bad as that. They always 
have those, even if there isn't any church, and they've got a 
church. I saw the steeple. 

Enid. Oh, then it must be all right. Say, isn't it fun to 
elope ? Allan ! 

Allan. Enid! {They embrace.) 

Enter Mrs. M., l. 

Mrs. M. Ahem ! {They separate immediately.) I hope 
you'll make yourselves entirely at home. 



6 THE GREEN BIRD 

Allan. Thank you. We intend to. 

Mrs. M. Very affectionate children. [Exit^ R. 

Allan. We must be careful. Remember, we are brother 
and sister. 

Enid. Well, can't we kiss each other ? 

Allan. Not in public. 

Enid. Humph. I don't know the fellow who'd take the 
trouble to kiss his sister in private. 

Allan. True, my dear, but in country hotels 

Enid. There, there. Don't expostulate. Yet, speaking 
of country hotels has given me an idea. My next short story 
is going to be about one. 

Allan. Are you going to keep on writing short stories — 
after you're married ? 

Enid. Why, of course. I couldn't live without writing 
short stories. Just see, my last one is in this month's 
"White Light." I brought it along to surprise you with. 
You don't care, do you, if I keep on writing them, after I'm 
married ? 

Allan. Of course not, foolish. Write as many as you 
want to. I'll promise to read all the magazines send back. 

Enid. Martyr ! Say, don't you like the name I write 
under ? I think it sounds so aristocratic. Wayne Mortimer 
Lynde. Doesn't it now ? 

Allan. Certainly it's all right — ^just like its owner. 

Enid. I don't think there's anybody looking — brother. 

Allan. You darling ! {About to kiss her.) 

Enter Alice, reading a letter. 
Alice {from the depths of her epistle), O-o o-O ! 
(Allan and Enid instantly separate.) 

Allan. Blast it ! 

Alice {startled on seeing them, dropping her letter). 
O-o-o-O ! 

Allan. What imbecile is this ? 

Alice. Be you the new uns? You must be. There 
couldn't come four at once. If Mr. Macklyn saw that many 
at one time, he'd think he had the jimjams. Where'd you 
come from ? Are you from the city? I've got a lover in the 
city. I got a letter from him. {Feels in her apron pocket.) 
I — I did have it just a jiffy ago. 



THE GREEN BIRD J 

Allan (picking up the letter and presenting it to her). 
You dropped your letter, I guess. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! T-thank you. I wonder if you know 
my lover ? 

Allan. I don't believe. 

Alice (appealing to Enid). Do you know him ? 

Enid. I very much doubt it. 

Alice. His name's Jack. 

Enid. What's his other name ? 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! That'd be tellin'. 

Enid. Oh, would it ? Then don't do it by any means. 

Alice. I ain't goin' to. O-o-o-O ! 

Allan. I say, let's get out of this. We're wasting valu- 
able time. 

Enid. All right. We'll go right away. I'll bring my 
magazine along and read you my last story. 

Allan. Leave it till we come back. There's something 
more important than short stories at present. 

Enid. Very well. I'll put it on the desk. Perhaps it will 
inspire somebody. My nom-de-plume is right on the cover, 
Wayne Mortimer Lynde. I say, I like that. 

Allan. Don't you like Mrs. Ross better ? 

Enid. Better than any other name in the world. And it's 
going to be mine. 

Allan. Just as soon as we can find a minister. 

[^Exeunt Enid and Allan, at back. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! I wonder who they are ? Their names 
is on the register probably. (Reads,) '*Mr. and Miss Ross." 
Oh ! They're only twins. I thought they was lovers. (She 
starts to go out, still reading the letter.) O-o-o-O ! 

(She drops it, picks it up, brushes it off, kisses it. Enter 
Mrs. M. They collide.) 

Mrs. M. Alice ! 

Alice. Yes, ma'am. 

Mrs. M. What are you reading ? 

Alice. A letter. 

Mrs. M. (trying to obtain a view of it). It looks like a 
man's handwriting. 

Alice. Yes'm, it is. 

Mrs. M. Alice, are you carrying on a clodnastine corre- 
spondence with some city feller ? 



8 THE GREEN BIRD 

Alice. No, ma* am. It ain't correspondence. We just 
writes to one another. 

Mrs. M. Well, I'd like to know what you call that? 
What does he do ? 

Alice. Just writes. Once he kissed me — and told me he 
loved me. O-o-o-O ! 

Mrs. M. He did ? What a fool ! But what does he do 
for a living ? 

Alice. He's a chaffer. 

Mrs. M. Well, I'm glad you have learned his character. 
He must be a chaffer or he would never have written to you. 
But what I meant was, what does he work at ? 

Alice. That's what I meant, too. He runs an automobile. 

Mrs. M. Oh, you mean he's a chefieur. 

Alice. Mebbe that is it. 

Enter Mack. 

Mack. Them's a mighty nice pair of children, anyway. 
It*s a pity brothers can't treat their- sisters better generally. 
He's as gentle with her as a milkmaid with a yearlin' heifer. 

Mrs. M. Where have they gone ? 

Mack. Dunno. Ain't they up-stairs ? 

Alice. Please, ma'am. They went out. 

Mrs. M. They'd ha' better stayed out. 

Mack. Maybe they've gone to get some orange blossoms 
for the table. He, he ! 

Mrs. M. That's right. Laugh at me. Oh, I was never 
so disappointed in my life — not since I was married myself. 

Mack. Well, there's such a thing, my dear, as having the 
disappointment mutual. 

Mrs. M. Brute ! 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! 

Enter, hurriedly^ Mr. Anton McDonald and Mr. George 
Lane. 

McDoN. Just what I told you. Nobody here. 

Mrs. M. I am here, sir. 

McDoN. Oh, you. Yes, to be sure. I beg your pardon, 
but I was referring to guests. This is a hotel, isn't it ? 

Alice. Ain't he swell ! 

Mack. This is a hotel, sir. Would you like a room ? 

McDoN. Well, you see, I don't know. I'm looking for 
some one. Has there been a lady here ? 



THE GREEN BIRD 9 

Mack. Yes, sir. What kind of a looking lady? 

McDoN. Don't know that. Never saw her before. That 
is — why, — she had a black hat with a green bird on it. 

Mack. H'm. A black hat with a green bird on it? 

McDoN. Yes. Has she been here ? 

Mrs. M. Is the lady a relative of yours ? 

McDoN. Why, no. That is — not exactly a relative, 

but {^Turns to Lane; aside,') George, who the devil 

shall I say she is ? 

Lane {aside). Leave it to me. {Turns to Mrs. M.) You 
see, madame, the lady in question is a celebrated actress. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! 

Mrs. M. An actress ? 

Lane. My name is Corbin. I am the manager of a lead- 
ing dramatic company in New York City. It is my intention 
to hire this lady for the coming season. She is now on her 
way to sign a contract with a rival manager. Therefore, it is 
our purpose to forestall her, and, having reason to believe that 
she has stopped here, we desire, if such is the case, to remain 
and use our influence in persuading her to conform to our 
wishes. But unfortunately we have lost the memorandum 
which had her name on it, and the only thing we know about 
her is what my friend has just told you, that she wore a black 
hat with a green bird on it. Being a rather peculiar combina- 
tion, we thought that possibly you might have noticed it. 

McDoN. {aside). Oh, if I could only lie like that — and he 
does it as though it was easy. 

Mack. H'm. Fm sure, sir, I can't tell you anything about 
the lady's acting, but there can be no doubt about the black 
hat with the green bird on it. A lady possessing such a hat 
has only recently arrived at the inn. 

Mrs. M. {aside). What's that ? 

Mack. However, she did not wear it. It is in her room 
with her baggage. 

Mrs. M. {aside). Well, I never ! And I locked their 
baggage over so careful, too. Either Mr. Macklyn has got 
powerful sharp eyes, or he's lyin'. 

Lane. Ah ! Her baggage, and the hat with it — if we 
could see that 

Mack. I am very sorry, gentlemen, but her baggage has 
no name on it, and now she has gone out and taken the key to 
her room with her. 

McDoN. The deuce she has. This is a nice hotel. 



10 THE GREEN BIRD 

Mrs. M. (aside). He is lying. Tve got the key to their 
room in my pocket this minute. 

Mack. Her name is on the register, but it's probably not 
her real one. I believe that actresses don't usually use their 
own names when they're traveling, and of course if you have 
lost the memorandum, you couldn't tell anything by that, any- 
way. The name given here, as you will see, is Ross, Miss 
Ross. 

Alice. O-o-o-O 1 They was theatre folks. 

Lane (studying the register), Ross. 

Mack. The gentleman with her registers as her brother. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! I'll bet he's her leadin' man. 

McDoN. (to Lane). Do you suppose this is the girl, 
George ? 

Lane (aside to him). We'll take the chances. (To Mack.) 
This is very probably the lady whom we are searching for. 
We will remain. 

Mack. Be pleased to register, gentlemen. I will take your 
suit-cases up-stairs, and you can go to your rooms at any time. 
They are the third and fourth on the right, and you can see 
the stairs just beyond the parlor door. I trust you will make 
yourselves at home, gentlemen! 

Lane. Thank you, we will. 

Mack, (going out), Cindy, come with me. I want to 
speak to you a minute — and bring Alice with you. 

Mrs. M. Well, what in the world ? 

Mack. Just follow me, an' I'll tell you. [Exit^ L. 

Mrs. M. Come, Alice. 

Alice. Yes, ma'am. O-o-o-O ! 

(They follow Mack.) 

Lane (signing). I'm George Corbin, theatrical manager. 
Who are you ? 

McDoN. I'll be hanged if I know. This is the wildest 
goose chase I ever set off on, and your lying has made it wilder 
still. What'U I put down, anyway? 

Lane (picking up the magazine). Here you are. The last 
illustrated *' White Light." Find something in that. You 
must be celebrated to keep me company. Here's a short story 
by Wayne Mortimer Lynde. Nobody knows him nor anything 
about him, and the name sounds good. Put it down. 

McDoN. But who is he ? 



THE GREEN BIRD 11 

Lane. I don't know. Never heard of him. Some maga- 
zine writer. Put it down. They'll be back in a minute. 

McDoN. All right. Here goes. Wayne Mortimer Lynda, 
author, right below George Corbin, theatrical manager. We're 
a nice pair of blamed liars. 

Lane. Never mind, if we find the girl. The fellows bet 
that we wouldn't dare to go after her, and that we couldn't get 
the green bird, and we've at least proved that we could do the 
first. Now if we meet her, the second ought to be easy. 

McDoN. I don't feel so sure about that. If we get out of 
this alive, I'll never take another bet from any one on anything, 
not even a horse-race ; by all the gods on Olympus, I swear it. 

Lane. Cut that. I'm the theatrical manager. That's 
stale. I heard {local) do it in the last {local) play. You'll 
have to get a new one. 

McDon. Who is the guy with the girl ? Is he her brother, 
or what? Do you suppose she's the right one, after all? 

Lane. She must be. There couldn't be two green birds 
in a town of this size, not both on black hats. We'll know 
when she comes, anyway. 

McDoN. That's just the trouble. We won't know. We 
haven't either of us seen her even. All we know is what the 
fellows told us, that she bought a ticket for this station and 
wore a black hat with a green bird on it, and they bet us twenty 
dollars and expenses that we couldn't go after her and make a 
big enough impression to get that green bird. 

Lane. If it wasn't such a jay town that they let her carry 
her key, we could have gotten in there and swiped it, bird 
and all. 

McDoN. That wouldn't be square. If we take the money, 
we've got to earn it, and get that bird from her with her consent. 
That's a part of the game. 

Lane. Lord, I hope we don't have to stay here long. 

McDoN. Never mind, if we get the bird. 

Lane. If. 

McDoN. Well, when then? For we've got to get it some 
way. 

Lane. Oh, we can get it — some way, if you'll stop being 
so honest. This isn't a Sunday-school proposition. We're in 
for the coin. Let's get out of this hole. We may meet the 
girl on the road. At least she'll be back to supper. 

McDoN. It'll be a swell supper she'll get here, or us either. 
All right. I'm ready. Come on. 



12 THE GREEN BIRD 

Etiter Mack., Mrs. M., and Kwcil^ l. 

Mack. Your rooms are in readiness, gentlemen. 

Lane. All right. We're going out for a while. We'll be 
back to supper. 

Mack. Yes, sir. Very well, sir. 

[^Exeunt Lane and McDon. 

Alice. I wonder if they be actors, too ? 

Mrs. M. Well, what are you going to do now? 

Mack. You shall see, my dear. It is very simple. Alice, I 
want you to go down to Mrs. Hunter's. 

Alice. The milliner's, sir? 

Mack. The milliner's, that's it, and tell her to let me have 
a green bird. I don't care just what kind so long as it's green, 
and I guess a good-sized one would be the best. Tell her I 
want it right away, and bring it back with you, but don't let 
any one see it. Understand ? 

Alice. Yes, sir. 

Mack. Tell her I'll pay for it when I take it back. 

Alice. Is that all ? 

Mack. That's all. Hurry up. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! I wonder what he wants to do with it. 

[^Exit 

Mrs. M. What in the name of goodness are you going 
to do ? 

Mack. My dear, business is business, and we haven't had 
any guests for almost two weeks. I just couldn't let those fel- 
lers go on the strength of a black hat and a green bird, espe- 
cially when it's such an easy matter to get 'em both. Now you 
jest go and hunt me up one of your old black hats, and we'll 
see what you can do in the millinery line. You used to be 
pretty good that way. 

Mrs. M. (completely nonplussed'). Well — I never ! 



CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE. — The same room half an hour later. Mrs. M. 
standing at the hack with work-basket in her hand^ needle 
and thready etc. Alice near K.yforward^ holding the hat, 

Mrs. Mc Just take it right up to her room, and put it on 
her bed, and don't you dare to breathe a word to a living soul. 
Do you understand ? 

Alice. Yes, ma'am. 

Mrs. M. When you come down the potatoes will be ready 
to peel. \_Exit, R. 

Alice (holding up the hat). Ain't it beautiful? Mrs. 
Macklyn said as how her leadin' man got it for her to wear in 
a play. It must be just heavenly bein' an actress. I wish my 
lover 'ud buy me one like it. Maybe he can after he gets 
enough money chaffering. Now that ain't right. Mrs. Mack- 
lyn told me to say cheufleurin'. She says I ought to be more 
careful about my enuncipation. (Tries 07i the hat and pulls 
hand mirror out of her pocket.) I'm goin' to wear it up-stairs, 
and see how it feels to be a leadin' star. There won't no one 
ever know. 

(Exity zuearing the hat and gazing into the mirror, walking 
unsteadily and colliding with the furniture.) 

Reenter Mrs. M., followed by her husband. 

Mrs. M. Well, go and do the chores then, and see that 
you get 'em done up in time for supper. We may have some 
more in on that six o'clock. It never rains but it pours. 

Mack. Hope we do, Cindy, hope we do. Rain's good for 
the corn. 

Mrs. M. Yes, and for the hog that eats it. You take in 
the money and I do the drudgery. You tell one lie and it 
keeps me busy tellin' ten more to back it. I've had to tell that 
girl now that them was real actor folks, just as that manager ex- 
pected them to be, so she wouldn't know how deceiving you 
was. I told her the woman had to have the hat to wear in a 
play. 

Mack. By gosh, Cindy, I didn't know you was so pert. 

13 



14 I'HE GREEN BIRD 

Mrs. M. Pert ! It's endaiigerin' my soul by bein' an ac- 
complice to your evil doin* — an' both of us good respectable 
Methodists. What would Mr. Higglehoni say ? 

Mack. H'm. 'Tain't long since that you was goin' to send 
for him to marry a couple over again as you didn't know but 
was married already. I wouldn't brag if I was you. We ain't 
neither of us so blamed strong on religion, Cindy. 

Mrs. M. That's right. Reproach me. I'm the brunt of 
it all. 

Mack. I say, what was the name of that other feller ? I 
hain't looked at the register since he writ it. 

Mrs. M. No, nor I, either. Where's my glasses? 

Mack. Is he another one of those managin' fellers ? 

Mrs. M. Wayne Mortimer Lynde. I never heard o' him 
before. Who do you s'pose he is ? 

Mack. I dunno. Here's his name again on this book cover. 

Mrs. M. What? It's a new magazine. He must have 
brought it with him. Why, he's an author I 

Mack. He be ? Is that right ? 

Mrs. M. And he's got a story on the inside. Oh, it's a 
love story, too. I'm going to read it. Just think, we've got a 
celerity in the house. I'm goin' to read that story right straight 
oif. lExi^, R. 

Mack. Well, I swan. Anyway, the place don't seem no 
different. (Ife starts to go out slowly ; the door is opened 
from without. Enter disconsolately Allan and Enid. He 
holds the door open for her to pass in. She goes and sits L. 
He passes r., a?id encounters Mack.) How d'ye do? 
Hope ye enjoyed your walk ? 

Allan. Oh, we did — immensely. 

Mack. Like the town ? 

Allan. Oh, it's swell. 

Mack. H'm. Hope you'll stay a while. \Exii. 

Enid. Allan, this is perfectly terrible. 

Allan. I know it, dear. It's worse than that. It's the 
limit. But it can't be helped. 

Enid. Not a minister to be had in the place. Just think 
of it. What an absurdity ! 

Allan. What a tomfoolery ! Confound their picnics, and 
their funerals, and 

Enid. Their prayer-meetings. Allan, what are we going 
to do? 

Allan. Wait until some of them get back, I suppose. 



THE GREEN BIRD I5 

Then do the job up quick and take that nine o'clock train 
out of here. 

Enid. But if any one should find us ? 

Allan. They won't. 

Enid. There's a train in at six. It just occurred to me. 
Supposing they should follow us ? 

Allan. They couldn't. They don't know which way we 
went, and have no idea of where we stopped. Maybe they 
haven't missed us. 

Enid. Oh, I suppose you're right, and yet somehow I can't 
feel easy. I've got a presentiment that something terrible is 
going to happen before we get out of this awful place. 

Allan. Oh, nonsense ! We're as safe here as though we 
were already married. There isn't a soul who knows us. 
There isn't any one here but ourselves anyway, unless they 
have come since we left. We can soon tell that by the 

register. {Reads,) Mr. and Miss Ross Hello. Here 

are two more names. George Corbin, theatrical manager. 
Humph! Some cheap actor. Who's the other one? 
Wayne ? What — Enid, see here ! 

Enid. What's the matter ? Who is it ? 

Allan. Read it. 

Enid. Wayne Mortimer Lynde. What? Well, who 

Allan. Some one has been borrowing your pen name. 

Enid. But who in the world — and where could he have 
gotten it ? Why — Allan, I know. My magazine. 1 left it on 
the desk. 

Allan. And it furnished our friend a very convenient 
pseudonym. 

Enid. But I don't see it. It isn't there. It's gone. 
He's taken it with him. The thief ! I shall find him and 
ask him for it. The impostor ! I'll interview Mr. Wayne 
Mortimer Lynde. We'll see how much he knows about short 
story writing. I'll bet he never even read one of my stories. 
I'm going to my room. Let me know if you find anything 
that looks like a minister. Allan, what if we couldn't ever get 
married ? 

Allan. Heavens ! Don't suggest anything so horrible. 
We can, we must, we will — even if we have to break up a 
picnic or a funeral to do it. 

Enid. I suppose I shouldn't feel so discouraged. I think 
we'll both feel better after supper. I'll be down again soon, 
dear. I want to talk with Wayne Mortimer Lynde. 



i6 



THE GREEN BIRD 



{Turns to go ; she 7?ieets Alice who has Just entered,) 
Alice. O-o-o-O ! How do you do ? 

{Makes a deep curtsey.) 

Enid. Oh, how do you do ? Did you finish your letter? 

Alice. Yes'm, thank you. I wouldn't have read it in 
your presence if 1 had known who you was. 

Enid. Why, I'm not aware that Tm anything so extra- 
ordinary. 

Alice. That's 'cause you're modest. 

Enid. Oh ! 

Alice. I saw a play once. It was at Rainsville in the 
opera house. I don't know whether you ever heard of it or 
not. It was a real uncommon play. They called it, *' Uncle 
Tom's Cabin." There was a beautiful lady in it. She rode 
on a little pony in the parade, and \x\ the end of the play 
she went up to heaven on a cloud, all dressed in white with 
golden hair fallin* down her back. Did you ever play that? 
I don't suppose you did, 'cause you ain't got golden hair. 

Enid. What is the child talking about? 

Alice. And there was another lady too. She went across 
the river on the ice. She had black hair, but her face was 
black. You couldn't have ever played her either. And there 
was a handsome young fellow in it too. Did your leadin* man 
ever play him ? 

Allan. She thinks we're a traveling stock company evi- 
dently. 

Enid. Heavens ! Do I look like {local)7 

Alice. I saw another play too. Them's the only ones I 
ever saw, but I'd like to see some more. 

Enid. And what was the second one ? 

Alice. They called it Camel, but I don't know w^hy 
'cause there wasn't any camel in it at all. There was a 
beautiful lady in that one and she had black hair and died 
just as the curtain came down. I felt sorry for her 'cause 
she didn't have anything to wear but her night dress. Did 
you ever play her? 

Enid. The girl is an absolute imbecile. I'm going up- 
stairs, Allan. You can tell her all about Uncle Tom's Cabin 
and — Camel. I'm more interested in Wayne Mortimer Lynde 
just at present. \^Exity L. 



THE GREEN BIRD 1 7 

Mrs. M. (^#). Alice ! Alice ! Alice ! 

Alice. There. I've got to go. Will you tell me about 
some other plays some time ? 

Allan. Oh, yes, sure. We'll make an actress out of you. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! Will you? 

Allan. You bet. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! 

Mrs. M. {off), Alice ! [^^/V Alice, r. 

Allan. Where ignorance is bliss {He turns again 

to the register.^ George Corbin, theatrical manager. Wayne 
Mortimer Lynde, author. I wonder who the devil they are, 
anyway. 

Enter frotn without Mr. Jack Haverstraw. 

Jack. Confound their trains. Who wants to wait three 
hours in a beastly hole like this? I don't suppose I can get 

a decent meal here, or anything else. I say, landlord 

{As Allan turns around.) Allan ! 

Allan. Jack ! 

Jack. Great Scott ! What are you doing here ? 

Allan. Why — I — I — what are you ? 

Jack. Tied up here for three hours before I can get a train 
to the city. Going to see Emma. 

Allan. Emma ? 

Jack. Your sister. I tell you what, old man, to-night's 
the night. Understand ? I get my answer. 

Allan. Ah ! You mean she's going to 

Jack. Surrender or give me the mitten. Do you wonder 
that I'm impatient? 

Allan. No, I don't. I wish you success. But why do 
you wait for that train ? Why don't you get a car to take you 
up? There's a fellow here somewhere that's got one. 

Jack. That's a good idea too. I'll do it. Thanks, old 
man. Say, who's here anyway? Anybody decent? Let's 
see the register. 

Allan. Oh, no. There isn't anybody here. Nobody 
that you would care about. I 

Jack. Well, we'll have a look anyway. 

Allan {aside). Oh ! What now ? 

Jack {reading). Mr. and Miss Ross. What in thunder 



Why ! Emma's here with you. She knew that my train 
wouldn't go way through and so she came down to meet me. 
And she dragged you along with her. I say, that means 



l8 THE GREEN BIRD 

success, don't it ? Great Scott ! Why didn't you tell me 
before ? 

Allan. Why, I — er — I 

Jack. Oh, you wanted to surprise me. of course, and it is 
a surprise — a great one. But where is she? 1 want to see 
her. Is she in her room ? 

Allan. Er — yes. But you can't see her now. She's 
dressing. She'll be down in a little while. You'll have to 
wait until 

Jack. Oh, sure. That's all right. I'll go and take a 
turn up the road. See if you can hurry her up, will you ? 

Allan. Yes, yes. I'll try. I'll send her out to meet you 
when she's ready. 

Jack. All right. I'll wait at the watering trough. Allan, 
old man, I'm walking on air. I'm the happiest man on earth. 

Allan {aside). Well, you won't be very long. Great 
heavens! What am I going to do? -What have I done? 
Now how am I going to keep him from finding out that she 
isn't here and that Enid is ? I'll ask Enid. She'll have to 
help me out of this. 'Twas on her account that 1 got into it. 

Enter Enid, l., carrying the hat, 

Enid. Allan, look here. See what I found in my room ; 
right on my bed. Did you ever see anything more absurd ? 
It must belong to the girl. I'm going to find out. 

Allan. Sh ! Don't move. 

Enid. Oh ! What's the matter ? 

Allan. We're in an awful mess. 

Enid. Not discovered ? 

Allan. No, but liable to be any minute. 

Enid. Oh ! Allan ! 

Allan. Listen. Jack Haverstraw is here. He's on the 
way to the city to see my sister. He has asked her to marry 
him and she has promised to give him her answer to-night. 

Enid. Well, he needn't see me. I'll keep still. I'll stay 
in my room. 

Allan. A lot of good that'll do. He's seen the register. 

Enid. What ? 

Allan. He thinks you're Emma and that you've come 
down here to meet him. 

Enid. Oh ! And what did you tell him ? 

Allan. I told him you were dressing and that I would 



THE GREEN BIRD I9 

send you to him when you were ready. Now, for heaveu^s 
sake, tell me what to do next. 

Enid. Oh, dear, dear, dear ! He mustn't find me. 

Allan. VVhat'll I do ? What shall I tell him ? 

Enid. Tell him anything. Tell him I'm sick and can't see 
anybody. Tell him I'm dying. Say I'm dead. 

Allan. Then he'd insist on seeing you, anyway. 

Enid. Yes. That's right. That's right. Oh, dear — tell 

him Wait ! I know. Leave it to me. I'll fix it. Where 

is he? 

Allan. What are you going to do ? 

Enid. Go and meet him. 

Allan. What ? 

Enid. And tell him that I came down with Emma this 
morning to see her married, and that she has gone on her 
wedding trip with — with — oh, I don't know who with, but 
rii think of some one — and that I was the bridesmaid and you 
gave the bride away. That ought to send him on to the city 
in a hurry. 

Allan. Enid, you're a wonder. But such a lie. 

Enid. Never mind. It will only make him appreciate your 
sister the more when he finds it isn't true, and he'll forgive us 
some time. 

Allan. He's waiting at the watering trough. 

Enid. All right. I'll find him. Take care of that hat, 
Allan. 

Allan. Oh, confound the hat! {Throws it contemptu- 
ously on a chair, Enid goes out hastily.^ What if he won't 

believe it, if he should suspect that we were I'll call her 

back. No, I won't, either. She can't make matters any worse. 
If I could only get a minister and then an automobile we could 
get out of this. I'll try it. I'll get the car, anyway. Some 
one here must have one. 

(^Exit at the back^ and immediately McDon. and Lane enter 
by the same door way, ') 

McDon. Who's the guy that just went out? Suppose 
that's her brother ? 

Lane. I don't know. And I don't care. I haven't seen 
anything that looked like a green bird. Confound it ! Why 
can't we buy one at some milliner's and be done with it? 
They wouldn't know. 



20 THE GREEN BIRD 

McDoN. That won't do. We've got to play the game 
square. Why, the woman must be here. She may have come 
in while we were out. She'll be down to supper, anyway. 
We can't help but see her then. 

Lane. If you weren't so confoundedly honest 

Enter Mrs. yi, from r., her artns full of old magazhies, 

Mrs. M. Oh, Mr. Lynde ! I was just wishing I could see 
you. You know I didn't see your name on the register till 
just now. Of course, I'd always heard of you. And you 
know your magazine lay right where you'd left it and I just 
took the liberty of reading your last story. It was just beauti- 
ful. Then I ran right over to Mrs. Stebbins, 'cause I knew 
she'd took the ** White Light " for years, and axed her to let me 
have her back numbers — and here they are. I'm going to 
read every story of yours in 'em. Can you tell just which ones 
has got 'em in ? 

McDoN. Really — I — I couldn't. You see, I — I've written 
so many. I never keep any track of them. 

Mrs. M. Well, I suppose not. You've got so much else 
on your mind. So many new ideas. I'm going to take these 
in the parlor and leave them so every one as comes in can 
know what a great author you be, and then I'll tell 'em that 
you've been here in this house and that I've talked with you, 
and won't they just open their eyes? Mrs. Stebbins pretty 
near died of envy when I told her you was here ; said you had 
awful poor taste, stopping at hotels. She takes boarders. I 
shouldn't be a bit surprised if she didn't come over to get a 
look at you. The whole town ought to turn out to do honor 
to such a distinguished visitor. I do hope you'll be willin' to 
tell us about your experiences after supper. I'd consider it a 
real favor. I'm a-goin' to get my autograph book and have 
you write your name in it first thing. I'll be back in a few 
minutes. \Exit, l. 

McDoN. Oh ! What have I run up against ? 

Lane. It looks like notoriety. Aren't you glad you're an 
author? After supper you can relate your interesting experi- 
ences. The old lady's got an autograph album, too, in which 
you can leave your esteemed signature. 

McDoN. Oh, rot ! This is your fault. You got me into 
it. You said there wouldn't anybody know who that guy was. 
Here she's dug up a whole year's issue of magazines with his 
stories in them, and expects me to tell her how I wrote 'em. 



THE GREEN BIRD 21 

Great Scott ! I never even read one of the things. Oh, I'm 

going up-stairs and be sick. Call me if you see anything that 

looks like a green bird. [^Exi^y L. 

Lane. A fat chance we stand of seeing anything of the 

Green Bird. If you weren't so confoundedly honest 

(^He stops f his eyes riveted on the chair ^ then emits a prolonged 
whistle,') Jumping Jehoshaphat ! I wonder if I've got 'em, or 

if (Approaches warily, and after maiiy manceuvers makes 

a quick plunge and grasps the hat,) There ! I knew I hadn't 
had anything. Maybe this isn't luck. The landlord was 
right after all. She must have come in while we were out 
looking for her — and left her hat down here. H'm. It won't 
be here long, I can tell her that. Findings is keepings. I 
won't tell Mac where I got it, though. I'll make him think 
she gave it to me. Then his conscience won't hurt him, and 
we can get out of here on the fly. He'll be glad enough to 
escape the old lady's autograph album. Who says we didn't 
get the Green Bird ? \^Exit l., with the hat. 

Enter Jack and 'E^iD,from without. 

Enid. You see, Mr. Haverstraw, your coming was so un- 
expected, and Allan — Mr. Ross, was so upset that he didn't 
know what to say, so he just put you off until he could consult 
me, and find out what we had better do. And I thought it 
was best to tell you the truth. 

Jack. Oh ! It is almost impossible ! Emma married ! 

Enid. I am sorry to see you take it so hard. 

Jack. Say, I didn't see your name on that register. 

Enid. Oh, no — that is — er — I — yes, it's there. I used 
my nom -de-plume. You can see it for yourself. Wayne 
Mortimer Lynde. 

Jack. Then who is George Corbin, theatrical manager? 

Enid. Oh, he came to see me about dramatizing some of 
my stories. He used to know Clement, so we brought him 
right along with us. 

Jack. Clement Ashverne. He of all people. That little, 
brainless, insignificant, bald-headed runt — Emma's husband ! 
Oh, it can't be true. She always told me she despised him. 
It's impossible. It's a lie. 

Enid. Then I would advise you to take the next train to 
the city and find out for yourself. I'm not in the habit of 



22 THE GREEN BIRD 

having my word doubted. I am very sorry to see you feel so 
badly, but Emma has made her choice and you really should 
abide by it. If she prefers Mr. Ashverne to you, why you 
should be brave and sacrifice your desires for the sake of her 
happiness. 

Jack. Happiness ! She can't be happy with that fool. 
Oh, Allan shall pay for this — and you, too. Both of you could 
have prevented it. You shall hear from me again. 

Enid. Where are you going ? 

Jack. To the city, just as soon as an automobile will get 
me there. I won't wait for a train. Emma married ! And 
to somebody else ! Oh ! {He rushes out at the back.^ 

Enid. What a pity ! But it worked perfectly. I hope he 
finds an auto. Then he will get away at once, and Allan can 
find a minister, and we can be married. (Allan enters R.) 
Allan ! 

Allan. Dearest! Has he gone? 

Enid. Yes. He is going away immediately. You mustn't 
let him see you. He is beside himself with anger. 

Allan. I know it. That was why I came in the back door. 
You certainly are clever. 

Enid. You heard ? 

Allan. Just a little. Listen. I have engaged an auto- 
mobile to take us to town immediately after the ceremony. 

Enid. The ceremony ? 

Allan. The Rev. Mr. Higglehorn has gotten back from 
the funeral, and I have asked him to come here to supper. He 
will sit at our table, and during the meal will marry us unbeknown 
to any one. 

Enid. Oh, Allan, how romantic ! 

Allan. Then when we get up from the table we shall be 
man and wife. Think of it, and we can go back to town at 
once. 

Enid. Wonderful ! 

Allan. Now go to your room and make everything ready 
so that we can start at a moment's notice. 

Enid. Yes. Yes. And I'll put on my prettiest gown for 
supper, for it is going to be my wedding dress. Allan, we will 
be married after all, won't we ? 

Allan. You bet we will. [^Exeunt Enid and Allan. 

Enter from without Clement AsHYKRiiE/o//owed by Monsieur 

DUPIN. 



THE GREEN BIRD 23 

DuPiN. What for you stop here, Climmet, eh ? You haf ze 
queer idea. This place what you call ze one horse, n*est-ce 
pas? Mon Dieu, your taste is in your mouth. 

Clem. But I tell you, Dupin, I've got to stop here. I must 
stop here. Can't you understand ? 

Dupin. Oh, oui. Je comprend. You haf stop here — you 
must stop here. II est necessaire. Mon Dieu ! Oui. Vous 
cherchez la Green Bird. N'est-ce pas ? 

Clem. Why will you persist in calling her the Green Bird ? 

Dupin. Eh? What for I call her the Green Bird? Ha ! 
What for she wear that thing, eh ? On her head, so ? All 
dose tail-feathers ? Mon Dieu ! She look like Chanticleer. 

Clem. Oh, ho, ho, Dupin ! 

Dupin. 1 know what for you stop here. Shore, I unerstan'. 
You wait for see the Green Bird. Ha ! You marry zat Green 
Bird some day. Mon Dieu ! There be a lot of little birds. 
You have what zay call it — cold feet. Too many chanticleer. 
Ah, ha, ha ! 

Clem. Dupin, dry up. 

Dupin. Oui, m'sieu, that what the town do— dry up. No 
what's you call it — booze. No nothing. Just Green Bird. 
Some day you marry zat. Then there be nothing left. 
N'est-ce pas? Climmet, I come your wedding. Eh? You 
let me be — what is it that you call — ze — ze — oh, you know 
what is it zat you have. Ze — oh, Je sais. Oui. Le bride- 
groom. Climmet, you let me be ze bridegroom. 

Clem. No, no, no. You haven't it right. 

Dupin. Non ? I have it not right, eh ? 

Clem. No. You mean the best man. 

Dupin. Ze best man ? Ha ! Mon Dieu ! I thought ze 
best man get ze girl. I no want ze Green Bird. 

Clem. Well, you won't get her. Don't worry. 

Dupin (at the window), Climmet, she come — she come 
down ze street. 

Clem. Who? 

Dupin. Ze Green Bird — Chanticleer. All alone — with all 
ze tail feather. Ah, il est temps aller. 

Clem, {at the other window^. It is — it is she. Dupin, you 
must leave me for a while. Go into the parlor. 

Dupin. Oui, je vais. Je comprend. You want kiss ze 
Green Bird, n'est-ce pas ? I — what zat you call- — make a noise 
— like what you say — vamoose. Eh? Oui. Mon Dieu! 
Vive la Green Bird. Ah, ha, ha ! \^Exit^ L, 



24 THE GREEN BIRD 

( The door opens ; enter a lady of a decidedly rural iype^ yet 
with an attempt at the metropolitan. She wears on her 
head a black hat almost untrimmed save for a rather large 
stuffed bird of a decidedly green hue. She advances into 
the room, Clem, comes down behind her,') 

Clem. Margaret ! 

Margaret {turning). Oh, Clement ! {Throws both her 
arms around him.) You came; you waited for me. You 
dear boy. 

Clem. Don't talk so loud. Dupin is with me. He's in 
the parlor. 

Mar. Oh, that nasty, horrible little Frenchman. Clement, 
he doesn't know that 

Clem. Not a word. 

Mar. I've seen Mr. Higglehorn, and what do you think 
he said ? That another party had just been to him about the 
same thing, and that he had promised to take supper with them 
and marry them over the teacups. Did you ever hear anything 
more novel ? 

Clem. And what did you say? 

Mar. Told him he might just as well take care of two as 
one. So he'll marry us the same way. When we get up from 
the table we'll be man and wife. Just think of it, Clement. 

{Throws herself into his arms again,) 

Enter McDon. ^//^ Lane, l., with suit- cases. 

Lane. If his car's in good condition, he'll get us there in 
time for supper, and there's twenty dollars waiting for us 
besides. 

McDoN. And our car fare, besi Great Scott ! Lane ! 

Look ! 

Lane. What ? 

McDoN. {turning on him). Confound you. So this is how 
you try to sneak out of it, is it ? 

Lane. What do you mean ? 

McDoN. The Green Bird. Look at her ! 

Lane. What in 

McDon. You told me you had it in your suit-case. 

Lane. And so I have. 

(Throws case on floor and kneels beside it^ pulling out 
contents.) 



THE GREEN BIRD 25 

Mar. What is the matter with them ? 

Enter Jack, hurriedly^ from the back. 

Jack (calling off r.). Landlord! I say, landlord, how 
long before supper ? 

Efiter Mack. 

Lane (^pulltfig out bird fro^n suit-case and holding it up 
triumphantly). There's your green bird. What do you want ? 
An aviary ? 

McDoN. Two of them — but which ? 

Mar. Clement, take me away from here. 

Jack (^turning at the sound of the name), Clement ? 

Clem, {turning). Why, Mr. Haverstraw 

Jack. You ? Clement Ashverne ! And with another 
woman ! You scoundrel ! Where is Emma ? 

{He assaults him ; he stumbles and falls to his kneeSy rises 
to defend himself ; the landlord interposes. Mar. screams. 
Enter runni?ig from the kitchefi R., Mrs. M. and Alice in 
aprons, the latter with a spoon in her hand. Mrs. M. 
screams : ** Murder / Police I '* Mar. screams again.) 

Enter Dupin, l. 

DupiN. Mon Dieu ! It is a fight. Climmet, and ze Green 
Bird. 



CURTAIN 



ACT III 

SCENE.— 7%^ same as Ads I and IL An hour later. The 
room is deserted. 

Enter Socks. fro77i the back. He looks around^ removes his 
linen duster y and wipes his head with a large banda?ia 
handkerchief. 

Socks. Whew ! It's a long stretch from the Twin Forks. 
I wonder if the old lady's got something good for supper. 
Seein* as how she's got a bride to feed, she ought not to be 
sparin' of her larder. I reckon I can find out by a look in the 
dinin'-room. (^Goes out and immediately reappears,') Howl- 
ing whip sockets ! Where did they come from? That's more 
folks than has been inside of this here place in two months run- 
nin*. All the bride's relatives must h'ave come down on the 
six o'clock, and it looks like Mack and his wife roped in the 
whole outfit — minister an' all. I'll have some business if they 
all go to the Corners. 

Enter Mrs. M. 

Mrs. M. Mr. Socksman ! 

SocKS. Well, how d'e do, Mrs. Macklyn ? I say, be all the 
bride's relatives a-goin' to the Corners with her ? 

Mrs. M. Oh, I suppose it's fittin' that I should be mocked 
in my hour of humiliation, but it's very bitter — it's very bitter, 
Mr. Socksman. 

SocKS. What's bitter, ma'am ? 

Mrs. M. The briefest way is the least painful. In the 
first place, sir, there ain't any relatives, and in the secoid 
there ain't any bride. 

SocKS. Do tell. What's the matter ? Wouldn't they do 
it over? 

Mrs. M. It wa'n't never done, Mr. Socksman. They was 
brother and sister. 

SocKS. Well, the Lord bless us. Then who's the folks in 
the dining-room ? 

Mrs. M. Oh, it's a long story, Mr. Socksman, and I 
haven't the strength to tell it. So much has befell since you 

26 



THE GREEN BIRD 27 

went away that it's left me just exhausted. I'm that weak, I 
feel like a cat that has been pulled out of a well. 
Socks. Well, well, well ! 

Enter Alice. 

Alice. They're most through, ma'am, an' I didn't spill the 
gravy. 

Mrs. M. Oh, dear, I suppose there ought to be some con- 
solation in that, but it seems like there isn't. Did the minister 
ask the blessing ? 

Alice. I don't know, ma'am, but I guess he must have 
'cause he had his prayer-book with him. I saw it on his lap 
under the table. He sat at one of the little tables with the 
actress and her leadin' man, and the other couple sat at the 
other little table and the three men at the big one. They 
didn't eat very good. 

Mrs. M. I shouldn't have thought they'd have had much 
appetite — after the scene we had. 1 only hope that that other 
young fellow'U enjoy his supper. I'm thinking it'll be a cold 
one. 

Alice. Did they put him in the jail, ma'am ? 

Mrs. M. Yes. It took both the constables. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! He must ha' been a desperate criminal. 

Mrs. M. He was. A regular man-eater. Oh, an* to think 
that it had to happen while we had the author here. 

SocKS. Land sakes, Mrs. Macklyn, you leave me plumb at 
sea. What's all this talk about actresses and constables, and 
criminals ? And now you're talking about an author. You 
hain't opened the \vine cellar while I was gone, have ye? 

Mrs. M. Mr. Socksman, I'd have you know this is a 
temperance house, and I belong to the W. C. T. U. 
* SocKS. Well, I wasn't meanin' no offense, ma'am, but I'd 
like to know where all them folks came from. 

Mrs. M. Oh, it's a long story, but I'll try and tell it. 
You see 

Enter Dupin, r., hastily, 

DupiN. Mon Dieu ! What for you no stay to the wed- 
ding? N'est-ce pas? Bah! These bourgeois, they have 
no — what you call — style. They get married — dans la salle a 
manger. 

Mrs. M. Married ! Married ! Who's married ? 



28 THE GREEN BIRD 

DupiN. Ciel ! Climmet and ze Green Bird. 

Mrs. M. What ? Where ? When ? 

DuPiN. Dans la salle a manger. Ah ! Vous ne com- 
prenez pas. Where they eat. Ze minister — with his prayer- 
book — -under the table. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! 

Mrs. M. What ! Married them — while they were eating ? 
A wedding ? Here in my house ? And they never told me ? 
Where is Mr. Higglehorn ? 

Alice {from the doorway^). Please, ma'am, he's gone. 

Mrs. M. Gone? 

Alice. Out through the kitchen, ma'am. 

Mrs. M. Through the kitchen — the minister ? 

Alice. Please, ma'am, I think he's married the other couple 
too. 

Mrs. M. What ? 

Alice. Yes, ma'am. The actress and her leadin' man. 
They must have been lovers. I saw him payin' the minister, 
and then he kissed her, an' 

Mrs. M. I'll never go into Mr. Higglehorn's church again 
— never. 

Alice. I think they're coming out, ma'am. 

Socks. I wonder if any of 'em will go to the Corners. 

Enter Clem, and ^k'^.. from the dining-room, 

DupiN. Mon Dieu ! Where is your rice ? Some rice for 
the Green Bird. 

Clem. Dupin ! 

DuPiN. Ah, Climmet, allow me to — what you call — sym- 
pathize with you. 

Mar. {laying her head on Clem's, shoulder), Clement, we 
are found out. 

Dupin. You have my hearty — what you say — condolence. 

Clem. No, no. Congratulations. (71? Mrs. M.) Madame, 
this lady is my wife. We have just been married. 

Mrs. M. Over the supper table ? 

Clem. Exactly. The Rev. Mr. Higglehorn consented to 
perform the ceremony in that way because we were in a hurry 
to get to town as soon as possible. {To his wife,) Margaret, 
I am going to leave you here for a little time while I go and 
see the man about the car. Dupin will entertain you and the 
landlady will see that all your wants are supplied. 



THE GREEN BIRD 29 

Mar. And you will come right back ? 

Clem. In five minutes, I promise you. 

Mar. {taking out her watcii). Very well ; be sure. 

YExit Clem. 

DupiN. Mon Dieu ! She time him. He now — what you 
call — toe ze mark. 

Mrs. M. Come right into the parlor and sit down. If I 
had only known that you were going to be married, you could 
have had my veil, and 

DupiN. I will tell you all I know about your husband, 
madame, while you wait for ze chauffeur. N'est-ce pas? 

Mar. He has been gone a minute already. 

{They pass into the parlor,^ 

Socks. I wonder if the other couple will go to the Corners. 

\Exitf R. 
Alice. O-o-o-O ! I wish I was married ! 

Enter McDon. and Lane fro7n the dining-room, 

McDoN. I am determined to make one more attempt. 
She is the woman whom we saw in the depot and it is her 
green bird that we have got to get. 

Lane. But how is anybody else going to know which 
green bird it is you got so long as you can show them that 
you did get one ? 

McDoN. That may all be, but I tell you I will have the 
right one, or none at all. 

Lane. Very well. Then you get it. That's all I've got 
to say. 

McDoN. Very well ; I will. 

Lane. How ? 

McDoN. Why — er — hanged if I know. 

(Mrs. M. comes from the parlor carrying Mar's, hat. She 
speaks back across the halL^ 

Mrs. M. He'll be back soon, ma'am. Don't you worry. 
Just make yourself at home. Alice ! Alice ! 

Alice. Yes, ma'am. 

Mrs. M. Just take this hat in the dining-room and set it 
on one of the small tables in the corner. I'm using the hall 
rack to stretch a lace curtain on. Oh, Mr. Lynde, I clean 
forgot the autograph album. It's here in my pocket now. 



30 THE GREEN BIRD 

Tve been so upset that Fm near fagged out. Such a brawl 
never took place in my house before. And the idea of its 
happening now when we had such a distinguished guest as 
yourself. It 

McDoN. Oh, I assure you it didn't bother me in the least. 
In fact I was so absorbed at the time that I hardly noticed it. 
[To Alice who is going out with the hat,) I say, my girl, just 
leave that here a moment, will you ? 

Alice. This, sir ? 

McDoN. Yes. Just set it on the table. {To Mrs. M.) 
Do you know, madame, this hat gives me an idea for a re- 
markably clever story, and if it may be allowed to remain 
there — for inspiration, you know — I shall write that story be- 
fore I leave here. Then after it is printed, I'll send you the 
original manuscript, and you can show it to your friends and 
tell them that Wayne Mortimer Lynde wrote that story beneath 
your roof. 

Alice. O-o-o-O ! 

Mrs. M. Beautiful ! Leave it right there, Alice. My, 
won't Mrs. Stebbins be jealous 1 

McDoN. Corbin, may I borrow your fountain pen ? 

Lane. Assuredly, my dear Lynde, assuredly. {Aside.) I 
didn't suppose he had it in him. 

McDoN. (aside^ to him). Get your suit-case and bring me 
that other bird. 

Mrs. M. What is to be the name of this story, sir ? 

McDoN. I think I shall call it '' The Green Bird." 

Mrs. M. a very approximate title. 

McDoN. And now I really must ask you to leave me alone 
while I collect my ideas. 

Mrs. M. Oh, certainly ! Come, Alice, leave the gentle- 
man to solicitude. 

{They go out,) 

McDoN. (taking out his knife and hastily ripping off the 
bird). Quick 1 Bring me that other bird. 

Lane. Great, Mac. I didn't know you could lie. 

McDoN. Neither did I. I couldn't have two hours ago. 
It's contagious. Say, where the deuce did you buy that other 
bird, anyway? 

Lane. Didn't buy it. Found it on a hat. 

McDoN. What? Where? 

Lane. Over there on a chair. 



THE GREEN BIRD 3I 

McDoN. Well, I'll be Whose hat was that? 

Lane. Really, I never thought to inquire. 

McDoN. Well, the bird belongs to the lady in the parlor 
now. Here, give it to me. Take this one and take good care 
of it. 

Lane. You bet I will. How are you going to get this one 
on there ? 

McDoN. Sew it, of course. 

Lane. What with ? 

McDoN. {taking from his pocket a paper of needles and a 
spool of thread^. Sir, an author must always be prepared for 
emergencies. He may have to do his own mending. 

{He begins to take long stitches and very painfully to fasten 
the second bird where the first was,) 

Lane. Well, Fll be 



McDon. You'd better keep an eye out for that auto. It's 
pretty nearly time that fellow showed up. Take care of the 
bird first. 

Lane. You bet I'll take care of the bird. \^Exit, R. 

{A pause during which McDon. sews laboriously.) 

Enter Allan and 'E^^iDyfrom r. 

Allan. Now, just as soon as the car comes we can go. 

Enid. But I haven't found Wayne Mortimer Lynde. 

McDon. {aside). What! 

Allan. Oh, bother the fellow. What if he did borrow 
your name ? There's only one Wayne Mortimer Lynde in the 
world for me, and that one is my own wife. 

Enid. And you are perfectly satisfied with her, even if she 
does write short stories for magazines and 

Allan. Perfectly satisfied. 

McDoN. {aside). Great Scott ! What sort of a mess have 
I got into ? 

Enid. Allan, look here. This is a modern hotel after all. 
They have a millinery establishment. Hats repaired while you 
wait. {Speaks directly to McDon.) May I inquire if you are 
sewing ? 

McDoN. No, madame, I am inspecting an incubator. 

Allan {humming a tune). Foolish questions 

Enid. Can't I help you ? I used to raise chickens myself. 



3^ 



THE GREEN BIRD 



McDoN. Say, you're not so slow. I would like to have 
you help fasten down this chicken's feathers. 
Enid. Give him to me. 

(JShe takes the hat and sits down near McDoN., sewing 
rapidly.') 

McDoN. Say, you know just how to do it, don't you? 

Enid. Didn't I tell you I used to raise chickens? 

McDoN. Yes, and I'd believe it, but I never saw a green 
chicken, did you ? 

Allan. Isn't that the hat that you brought down -stairs a 
while ago? 

Enid. Had you noticed it, too? I was just wondering 
about the same thing. It is — and it isn't. {To McDon.) 
Are there twins staying here ? 

Allan. What are you sewing on that for, anyway ? 

McDoN. Oh ! I — er — twins, yes. I am their father. 

McDoN. You see— -er — I 

Efiter Mrs. M. 

Mrs. M. {talking over her shoulder to Mar., W/^ is still in 
the parlor). Now, don't you worry, ma'am. He'll be back 
pretty soon. Something's kept him. Maybe he has had trouble 
finding a chefleur. Some says as how they're that hard to 

find Why, Mr. Lynde ! How are you getting on with 

your story? It's lucky I came out here. I've got my auto- 
graph book again. Now if you'll put your name right there, 
next to Deacon Whipple's. 

McDoN. Er — oh, yes. Certainly. {Writes.) 

Mrs. M. {to Allan and Enid). Let me see. You're the 
brother and sister that got married. Well, I wish you much 
joy. If you'd have consulted me, you might have had a real 
wedding. 

McDoN. Here you are, ma'am. 

Mrs. M. Thank you, sir. {To Allan a7id Enid.) It's a 
consolation to know that you have people of real fame under 
your roof. Just see there. 

McDON. {trying to interfere). But really, madame, I 

Enid {who has taken the book). So. You are the im- 
postor ! You are Wayne Mortimer Lynde. It was you who 



THE GREEN BIRD 33 

Stole my nom-de-plnme from a magazine cover. Aren't you 
ashamed of yourself? You, the father of twins. 

Mrs. M. What? 

Enid. Here is one of their hats. 

McDoN. Oh, I say, now, you knew better than that. 

Mrs. M. That? That belongs to the lady in the parlor. 
Mr. Lynde was going to write a story about it. 

Enid. Then to whom does the one I found in my room just 
before supper belong ? 

Mrs. M. That one? Why — that was mine. {Aside,) May 
the Lord forgive Mr. Macklyn for causing me to lie. 

Enid. You and the lady in the parlor don't look much 
alike. 

McDoN. The fact is, madame, when I came to write my 
story, I perceived that the bird on this hat was loose and so I 
called on this lady to help me repair the defect because I was 
afraid its wobbling would — er — disturb my train of thought. 

Enid. Impossible. You never had one. (Zb Mrs. M.) 
I tell you, woman, this man is an impostor. I am Wayne 
Mortimer Lynde. 

Mrs. M. You? 

Allan. My wife uses that name in writing for the maga- 
zines. This gentleman borrowed it from the cover of the one 
she left on the desk. 

Mrs. M. And you wrote that story? 

Enid. I did. 

Mrs. M. (after a pause). Will you write in my autograph 
album ? 

Enid. With pleasure. 

Mrs. M. (Jo McDon.). And you, sir — what are you? 

McDoN. Madame, I can only confess. I am a liar. 
(Aside.) But we got the green bird. 

Mrs. M. Oh ! I wish you would leave my house. 

McDoN. I will do so with pleasure. I am expecting an 
automobile at any moment. [Exit^ r. 

Enter Mar. from the parlor followed by Dupin. 

Mar. Something has happened to him ; I know it. He 
would never stay away so long. I am going after him. Maybe 
he has been slain like Pyramus. I must find him. 

Dupin. Restez, madame. Climmet, he can take care of 
hiself, n'est-ce pas? Restez. II n'est pas un enfant. 



34 THE GREEN BIRD 

Mar. Maybe he has met that terrible man again and he 
has spoilt another of his beautiful eyes. I must find him. 

Enid. This is the lady who was at the table with Mr. Ash- 
verne. (7<? Mar.) Are you his sister ? 

Mar. I am his wife. We were just married. 

DupiN. Like you — by ze minister — with his prayer-book — 
under ze table. 

Enid. What! Really? 

Mar. Yes, and now I am afraid that he has met that horrid 
man again. 

Enid. What man ? 

Mar. The one who struck him before supper. 

Enid. Where ? 

Mrs. M. Right here, ma'am, while you were up-stairs; a 
very brutal drunken person. The two constables had to come 
in and take him to jail. He said he was looking for Emma. 

Allan. Emma ! 

Mrs. M. And he thought the gentleman had her. 

Allan. Enid, it was Jack. You told him it was Ashverne 
with whom Emma eloped. He must have come back — and 
met them — and thought — and he's in jail. 

Enid. Allan, he'll never forgive us — never. 

Mrs. M. What ! You don't mean to say that you're ac* 
quainted with the villain — you, an authoress ! 

Enid. Yes, I know him very well, and he's not a villain. 
He is the victim of circumstances. 

Allan. Unfortunate circumstances. 

Enid. And it's all my fault. Allan, what shall we do? 

Mar. Oh, where is Clement ? 

Enter from the back Socks,, followed by McDon. a«^/LANE. 

Socks. If ye want to go to the Twin Forks, I'll take ye over 
in the stage. There's three automobiles there. 

Lane. But will that get us to town by 

Socks. It'll git ye to town plenty soon enough. I say, is 
there a lady here what's just been married, and wears a black 
hat with a green bird on it ? If there is, I got a message from 
her husband. 

Mar. Oh, tell me the worst. What has happened ? Is he 
killed ? 

Socks. No'm, but he's in jail. 

Mar. (on the verge of fainting). What ? 



THE GREEN BIRD 35 

Socks. Oh, he ain't done nothin*, ma'am. Don't let it 
lipset ye. They're holdin' him as a witness agin' the other city 
feller what gave him that there black eye of his. 

Enid. Jack. Allan, you must get him out. 

Allan. Yes. I'll have him liberated at once. I'll tell 
them it's all a mistake, and 

Socks. Jest wait a minute, young feller. Ye can't get that 
man out 'ceptin' ye put up his bail. 

Allan. How much is it ? 

Socks. A hundred dollars. 

Allan. I haven't got that much with me. I'll give them 
a check. 

Socks. Nope. They're skittish about checks down here. 
Ye' 11 have to pay cash. 

Allan. But I haven't got that much. 

Socks. Maybe some of the other people here will help ye 
out. 

Mar. Yes, yes ! You can have all I've got. Only bring 
my Clement back. Here's ten dollars. 

(She gets it from her petticoat pocket,) 

Dupin. Je vous donne onze dollairs, monsieur. 

Allan. No, no. We can't do it. All of us together 
haven't got enough. 

Enid. I have, Allan. 

Allan. You ? 

Enid. Yes, but you'll have to wait till I get to the jail. 
It's in my stocking. 

Allan. But where ? 

Enid. The proceeds of my last short story. I cashed the 
check just before I came. 

Allan. Enid ! But I can't take your money. 

Enid. You needn't. I got Jack into this scrape, didn't I? 
Then I'm going to get him out. Come, we'll have to hurry 
before the auto comes. 

Socks. Jest a minute, young woman. There ain't no auto 
to'^come. 

Enid. What ? 

All. What ? 

SocKS. There's only one in the town, and four parties have 
spoke for that already, and it's busted. 

Enid. Oh ! 



36 THE GREEN BIRD 

Mar. Oh I 

Lane (to Socks.). See here, do you mean that all those 
other people engaged that same automobile ? 

Socks. Same one. 

Lane. Well, I'll be 

Enid. But what's to be done now ? 

Socks. If ye want to go by stage to the Twin Forks, I can 
find ye some automobiles there. 

Allan. But there's a train at nine. 

Socks. Took off yesterday. It's either the Twin Forks 
with me, or stay here all night. Which do ye want ? 

All (after a pause). The Twin Forks. 

Socks. I reckon I've one on you this trip, Mrs. Macklyn. 

Mrs. M. Take them, Mr. Socksman ; I'm that done up, 
now, I couldn't get breakfast for a hermit. 

Socks. The stage is outside, folks. I'll take ye right down 
to the jail, and you can pick up the rest of your party there. 

Enid. Come, Allan. {To Mrs. M.) Cheer up, Mrs. 
Macklyn, I'll send you the copy of the magazine that prints 
my story of '* The Green Bird." 

Allan (dropping some bills in her lap). There is your 
money, madame. 

Enid. Now to get Jack out of jail. 

(She and Allan pass out ; the stage-driver holds the door 
open for them.) 

Mar. (dropping money in Mrs. M.'s lap), I'll pay you for 
Clement, too, ma'am. 

Dupin (following her with her hat), Madame Ashverne, 
vous avez oublie6 ze green bird. 

Mar. Oh, thank you. 

Dupin (leaving money with Mrs. M.). Voila, madame, 
votre argent. (He follows Mar.) 

Lane. Come on, Mac. We've got what we came for, 
anyway. 

Socks, (barring the door). Ain't ye forgot something, young 
feller? 

Lane. I ? 

Socks. Both o' ye. Ye'll pay your board afore ye ride in 
my stage. 

McDoN. You have to pay. Lane, to *'get what you want." 



THE GREEN BIRD 37 

{To Mrs. M., leaving her money,) Madame, I beg your 
pardon. 

{He goes out \.pc^^ follows. Socks, goes, closing the door, 
then opens it again wide enough to admit his head,) 

Socks. You don't bear me no hard feelings, do you, Mrs. 
Macklyn ? {He elicits nothing more definite than a mournful 
shake of the head,) Good-night, Mrs. Macklyn. {He closes 
the door. His voice is heard without,) Git up there, Meg, 
you varmit, and you, too. Josh, buckle in there. Now g'lang. 

{Sound of a whip cracking and the rumble of wheels,) 

Mrs. M. {after a long pause), I never lied so much in all 
my life. And it looks like the rest of them had all lied, too. 
It must be confections. 

Enter Mack. 

Mack What's this, Cindy? Socksman taking the whole 
of them to the Twin Forks ? Why didn't you keep 'em here ? 
They ought to ha' stayed all night, every bloomm' one of em. 
What'dyou let 'emgofor? 

Mrs M. DonH talk to me, Steve Macklyn. You re a de- 
ceivin' money changer. There's the spoils o' your lyin'. Take 
it. I don't know what the world's comin' to. Even the mm- 
isters is deceivin'. 

Enter Alice. 

Alice. Mr. Macklyn? Mr. Macklyn? 

Mack. Well ? 

Alice! Please, sir, Mrs. Hunter wants the bird what you 
got from her this afternoon. She says as how it was the only 
one she had, and she's got to use it right away. 

Mack. Well, where is it? 

Alice. I don't know, sir. 

Mack. Cindy, where is that green bird? 

Mrs. M. Don't you say '' Green Bird " to me agin. 

Mack. Well, I reckon we'll find it somewhere. Alice, you 
go up-stairs and we'll look around here. 

Alice. Yes, sir. {Exit, l. A pause. Mack, pokes 



38 THE GREEN BIRD 

things over. Mrs. M. searches half-heartedly, Alice re* 
enters.^ It ain't up there, sir. 

Mack. Well, look around here. It must be somewhere. 

Alice. Yes, sir. 

{She joins in the search. Another pause during which they 
look in all conceivable places for the fnis sing article. They 
are still hunting when the curtai7i falls,) 



CURTAIN 



New Plays 



BELLE, THE TYPEWRITER GIRL 

OR, THE VAMPIRES OF CHICAGO 

A PLAY IN FIVE ACTS 

By Bernard Francis Moore 

Five male, two female characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four easy 
interiors. Plays two hours. Hebrew comedy part. An easy melodrama of 
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Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

John Randall, a returned diamond Abe Cohex, with a gold mine to sell, 
miner from Africa. Belle Randall, the miner* s daugh^ 

Simon Morgan, a hanker and broker. ter. 

Ralph Morgan, his son Julia Randall, his wife, 

Edward Blake, Morgan's chief clerk. 

SYNOPSIS 

ACT I. — The office of Simon Morgan, banker and broker. The run on the 
bank. John Randall's diamonds. The saving of the bank. 

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Driven from home. 

ACT III. — The home of the Randalls. The new boarder. The two letters. 
Unwelcome love. Abe to the rescue. 

ACT IV. ~ Interior of the old mill. In the rub. The drugged wine. The 
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ACT V. — The home of the Randalls. Despair. The turning of the tide. 
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MRS. TYLER'S SECOND 

A COMEDY-DRAMA IN THREE ACTS 

By Harry O. Osgood 

Author of ** The Bigelows' Butler,*' " Mrs. Compton's Manager," etc. 

Four males, two females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
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Price^ 25 cents 



150V U-1812 



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HER WEEKLY ALLOWANCE 

A FARCICAL ENTERTAINMENT IN ONE ACT 

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AUTHOR OP "THE VILLAGE POST-OFFICE," "THE PEDLER*S PARADE," 
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Price, 15 cents 
CHARACTERS 



Mrs. Jack Tebbitts, who has an al- 
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Piano Agent, who saves a divorce. 

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Fruit Pedler, who plays a bunco 
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Spectacle Agent, who saves the 
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Susie Pease, whx) sells soap (child). 

Mrs. Kellogg, who has tickets to sell. 



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Patent Medicine Pedler, who 
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Armenian Woman Pedler, who is 
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Rug Seller, who can sell Mrs. Teh" 
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THE MAN FROM BRANDON 

A FARCE IN ONE ACT 

By J. M. Taylor 

Three males, four females. Costumes modern ; scene, an easy interior. 
Plays half an hour. A brisk and amusing piece, full of action and move- 
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Price, 15 cents 



HER DEAF EAR 

A FARCE IN ONE ACT 

By Arlo Bates 

Two males, three females. Costumes modern ; scenery, an easy interior 
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Price^ 15 cents 



J1. m« Pinero's Plays 

Price, 50 fKetits each 



Min TH AWNFI ^^^^ ^" ^^^^ ^^*^- ^^^ males, five females. 
A'***^"^"'^Allil-iLi Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
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THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH ^.^r'^F.Tt 

males, five females. Costumes, madern; scenery, all interiors. 
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THF PROFI TPATF Playin Four Acts. Seven males, five 

* "*-• * IVV/r LilU/\ i U females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
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THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^liri^^Xl 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
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QWFFT I AVFlSinFR Comedyin Three Acts. Seven males, 
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THF THITlMnFPRni T Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
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THF TIM F^ Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 

* **I-i 1 iiTl£ii3 Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
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THF WFAITFR QFY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
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A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE gref/ail?, J«^l^n.t?:i: 

Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

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No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



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LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 

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THE AWAKENING ^l^ 



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ill Four Acts. By C. H. Ciiambeks. 
Four males, six' females. Sceiiery, not ditti- 
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Price, 50 Cents. 

Comedy in Four Acts. 

By L. Tolstoi. Tm enty- 
one males, eleven females. Scenery, c1 i.racteristic interiors ; cos- 
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Farce in Three Acts. By 
R. Marshall. Ten 

males, three females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior. 

Acting rights reserved. Time, a full evening. Price, 60 Cento. 

Comedy ii^ Four Acts. By OscAK WiLDE. 

Kine males, six females. Costumes, mod- 
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Farce in Three 



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males, four females. Costumes of the eighteenth 
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Comedy in Three Acts. By M. B. Horne. 

Six males, four females. Scenery, two 
interiors ; costumes, modern. Professional stage rights reserved. 
Plays a full evening. Pi*ice, 50 Cents. 

Comedy in Four Acts. By C. H. 

Chambers. Four males, three fe- 
males. Scenery, an interior and an exterior ; costumes, modern. 
Acting rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE ^i{/^^^^l^^, 

seven females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three, interiors aiul an 
exterior. Plays a full evening. Stage rights reserved. Ottered for 
reading only. Price, 50 Cents. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Waltn i^. OBafeer a Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN 



NATHAN HALE 



THE OTHER FELLOW 



THE TYRANNY OF TEARS 



S. J. PARKMILL & CO. 



PRINTERS, BOSTON- 



